a tad bit embarrassing.....

OK..so Deborah, this should make your day a little better. Let me tell you all one of the most embarrassing things I have ever had to endure and it happened today!
So everyone knows that I like to read. If I could spend 9 hours a day reading....I would! So sometimes my work is slow and sometimes it is just plain boring. So I like to take little breaks and read. Sometimes to make sure I get through a chapter or make it so I don't look like I read more then I work ;~) I will sneak my book into the bathroom and pretend to be on the potty.
Well today was one of those days....after about 3 hours of work I realized that if I kept it up I would be done and out of work with nothing to do for the rest of today or tomorrow. So I take my book, creatively hide it in a stack of papers and walk myself into the bathroom. I situate myself on my new found library chair and get comfy, for this is a long chapter and good book and I have to get through it. I was in there for a good five minutes when my leg started to fall asleep....so naturally, I re-situate...."Wait what was that sound? It sounded like something swishing...in water. I am the only one in here... how could something be swishing in water?" I think on this little plight of mine for a second and then it hits me like a ton or bricks. My dress has fallen in to my makeshift library chair and proceeding to soak up all the nasty toilet water......Uck. I am so horrified that I literally sat there for a good thirty seconds before my ears finally hear my brain yelling "get up you dolt, your dress is getting soaked in TOILET water!!!" I stand up quickly, mentally kick my self as the water starts spraying all over my legs and shoes...I hold the dress up so it can kindly drip in the toilet and not on me. Then I realize what I am going to have to do.....yup..ring it out. I put my book down. (ya books are that important...I lovingly held it away from spraying, dripping water). I take the chunk of dress in my hand and start twisting at the same time gagging so hard my eyes start watering. I almost had to stop ringing out the water to puke, but I held it and with shaking fingers, blurred vision and a wet backside I walk out of my stall....wash my hands (thoroughly!!!) and collect my papers!
Now comes my next dilemma....getting back to my desk with out anyone seeing. I walk out of the potty room and proceed to cling to the wall, whenever someone comes walking by I put my back to the wall and pretend to be reading my file....I also have attached my own personal theme song in my head and make my self chuckle because I think of Cronk in Emperor's New Grove. So anyone who was really paying attention would have seen a mortified, giggling woman pretending to read an upside-down file up against a blank wall in the middle of a random hallway with a dress that was most obviously wet all up the back. Ya...I was sly!
I finally get back to my desk and turn on my heater....full blast and stand awkwardly in front of it to try desperately to dry this dress. Now I work in a cube that faces a wall....so not many people come back this way, except of course, for today. The four or five people that did walk by looked at me quizzically and I explain in my most courageous voice with my chin held high..."it's cold in here", I complete it with a 'I dare you to ask' look and they go about their way.
Now two things. One....the water had NOT been used, but the fact that it is a communal bathroom and who knows what kinds of things stick in there is still the most disgusting thing and two...one would think this would deter me from reading in the bathroom instead of working, I am here to tell you that is most definitely not the case. I will just be more careful from now on and pay more attention.
So there you go. Disgusting, Embarrassing, Amusing and Comical all within a half hour....can't beat that. Now if you will excuse me I am off to go read. ;)